That was more nostalgia than accusation or accurate commentary, Gary. Yeah, it did seem like whenever I put a "Wanted" ad in, say, Barnstormers (did it for hubs for my prop for example), I'd get a call from some guy in Florida...
"I've got what you want."
"And what would that be?"
-click-
"I've got those prop hubs you want."
"Got serial numbers?"
[short shouting rant about how DARE I question his integrity....he's been in aviation for 30 years!!] followed by -click-
"I've got what you want."
"Yeah, I know...the stuff dreams are made of." - click-
Then there were the Floridian O-435 cylinders and they really were cylinders for a Lycoming O-435…cheap, except the shipping of course. What I didn’t know was that lots of those old military surplus O-435s are used in Florida…on air boats. Let’s just say that ECI went through a bunch of used jugs for my engine before they found six to overhaul and apply their splendid Cermi-Nil process to. The batch I bought was not among them.
During the tear-down inspection of my engine following the landing-gear-that-would-now-lower adventure, the mechanic found an odd accessory gear begging for permanent retirement. As it was unique to the A series, this time I said to hell with the ads. I called Emperor Pontius. That’s my name for Al Pontius, ruler of the Cruisemaster spare parts information Empire. His wife just loves it when I phone Al, she answers, and I ask for an audience with the Emperor…well NOW she finds it amusing…she damned near hung up on me the first time. “Al – I think it’s one of those BELLANCA PEOPLE!!”
Meanwhile my mechanic phoned saying he found the part.
“Is it from a guy in Florida by any chance?”
“Uh…well…yeah…”
“DON’T BUY IT!”
“Huh…I don’t see why…”
“DON’T ASK ME WHY!” I had no time to explain the concept of if-then statements to this man as I drove over Stephens Pass to meet a fellow in a diner in a small town on the other side who slipped me the gear after I slipped him the cash. Sure it sounds like a dope deal but it was the right part, it was a good part, and it’s working just dandy now in my engine. But the deal didn’t happen in Florida.
The mechanic went ahead and bought the gear from the Floridian. I don’t have to tell you the rest. I said I wasn’t paying for it. He billed my insurance. I asked if he planned to retire and move to Florida.
It all seems kind of innocent now compared to the scams that followed…the phony cashier’s checks from Nigeria, the good checks pilots sent to people with phony names who vanished…the bizarre pleas of all sorts, promising all manner of money if only you’d send along a certain sum – usually involving large inheritances that would come to the email sender if only he could afford a small fee to pay the lawyer, and so on.
It reminds me of when the more horrifying issue facing the country was a President who messed around with an intern and lied about it. Yeah, it was appalling but GAWD I MISS THOSE DAYS.
Jonathan
